So, the year 2020 fell into a black hole.
Six feet apart and the erasure of smiles.
Human connection redefined – or simply forgotten.
Lives destroyed, suicide rates through the roof, and violence normalized.
Traditions lost, families broken.
Up is down and down is up.
Dissenters beware.
History repeats itself. Patterns emerge. We learn from our mistakes. We build, grow, and thrive. And then we fall.
Where is God ?
There’s lovers and then there’s sinners,
Running from the truth.
Blue eyes, and blue skies,
No, they can’t endanger you.
They say lovin’ is easy, yeah until you walk that line,
Between mountaintop troubadours &
Runnin’ out of time.
Starts with a kiss, ends with a miss
You, left ignored
But it don’t come that easy
No, it don’t come easy
This short writing piece was inspired by an interview I watched of an actress and musician who talks about her role in a recent movie about fame. The words below are meant to be a comment on recognizing the values that society can sometimes place on us without our conscious realization. My purpose for writing this piece is to offer introspective reflection for what we truly desire out of this life.
We are born into a body with a face. But this is not all that we are.
We are so much more. We may not like the face or body that we are born into, so we may go ahead and change it. Change our weight, change our hair color, change our sex.
We defy what we are in order to create something we are not, at the most basic level. But this is our choice, yes. And this defiance can drive us into careers that glorify superficiality ( the word superficial translates to “above the fascia” – fascia is the Latin derived word for skin). For something that is above the skin, we are saying it is outside, removed or distant.
The truth is, the world needs us; As we are, as we were created. It needs our individuality. Because we each have a story to tell. And these stories are what connect us, inspect us, and humble us.
We can’t all be the same. We shouldn’t, all be the same. Yet, sometimes we chase all the same things : money, fame, and beauty. Beauty in our own twisted sense of the word.
Dig deep. Who are you? At the most basic level, what are you? Physically.
What are your passions? Emotionally. What impact do you want to make on the world? What gift might you have to offer the world ? What knowledge can you share ? What lesson can you learn ?
Where does Spirituality fit into your life ?
Ask these questions, because these are the ones that don’t have preference to name, face or body. These questions don’t care whether you are a size 0 or platinum blonde.
These questions are the questions that will free us. To be us. Just, as we are.
To be praised just for our appearances, is a mistake; to be loved for what we are not, is a tragedy.
We are so much more.
The best day of the year. Not only because it brings with it the fresh scents of autumn and tastes of the harvest, but the 1st of anything is always an opportunity for reflection.
It’s always nice to start over. This is why we see so many people making New Year resolutions… some resolutions they never intend to keep up with, others go on to last the entire year (or longer).
This post is mainly about lifestyle habits. I got to thinkin’… The difference between those who are successful with their resolutions, and those who are not, is that the successful ones realize the fresh starts are meant to become ingrained into their daily routine. It’s not about a fad “diet” or an arbitrary “change” or a brief escape from what you typically do in the day to day.
It Takes 21 Days To Make A Habit.
Starting over shouldn’t be a temporary solution. If you’re serious about a change, Just Freakn’ Do It, and stick to it, will ya? Turn your goals into priorities.
Is the reason that pile of laundry is still sitting in the corner of your room because you’re lazy or because you just don’t give a crap about where it ends up? Or maybe you haven’t quite got into the routine of doing your own laundry because your mom has done it your whole life. Sound familiar ?
Not to say laundry should or shouldn’t be a priority – because it definitely isn’t one of mine – but IF it WAS on your list, why isn’t it getting done ? The same goes for rekindling relationships, saving money, or doing your weekly food prep.
Where do you focus your time, energy, and abilities? And do those skills line up with what you want out of your life ?
Regardless of the answers to these questions, as they will vary for everyone individually, just take a moment to ponder.
The answers to this question (as personal as they should be) should be things that you make an effort, every single day, to be utmost priorities in your life.
Turn those “should have”, “could have”, “would have” ‘s into musts and needs.
The world we live in praises hard word, productivity, and efficiency. But what about the other stuff? What about things not related to work? It’s hard to focus on what’s important when upwards of 90% of our day is focused around the (dare I say it) unimportant ?
However, don’t get me wrong. Work is an essential part of life. It gives purpose, builds stamina/character, and pays the bills. But everything must be re-evaluated when the work you do doesn’t actually line up with your core values.
What are your core values?
Words like integrity, passion, growth, and contribution are examples of what could be answers to this question. Real, true values, are not tangible. They are not items. They are not things. They are not positions in a company, or ranks you can reach.
It’s difficult to quantify or measure them because they don’t really follow along with the strict science and mathematics that we’ve been taught our entire lives.
Logic doesn’t always win.
Follow your heart, be true to your passions and values, and stay the course.
The rest is bound to follow.
-gina
Today I want to write about Toxic Habits.
As the title of my site suggests, “Happy Habits” is a place I come for comfort, solitude, emotional release, and inspiration.
But what about the times I’m not writing?
It is easy to slip out of a good routine when you struggle with mental health balance. One day you are feeling on top of the world, with all your ducks in a row, and the next you’re eating half a pizza in front of the the TV you swore you wouldn’t watch all night, feeling the waist-line around your pants starting to grow, staring out the window wondering why you decided to ditch all your short term goals for the week, or month.
But a habit is exactly as it sounds, a habit. Something one does habitually. And the best way I have found to get out of those toxic habit ruts, is to just start from scratch, with a healthier habit.
Recreating yourself each and every day.
It sounds like a daunting task, and it is. But it’s so much more rewarding than letting yourself go and tumbling so far down into the ditch that you can’t see the light at top anymore.
It’s all darkness down there, and it only gets darker until you make the decision to tighten up your bootstraps, dig your claws into the dirt and start climbing those walls back out.
As if your life depends on it, because really, it does.
Today, I had a strong reminder from a man at my table. He said, “I would trade all my gold, and all of my silver, to get back my Youth”. As I smiled and laughed with him, I walked away realizing just how powerful what he said actually was.
Here was this older man, enjoying a nice Italian dinner with his wife, all the wisdom in the world, and all the cash in his pocket, yet he still was without what he desired most.
Many things in this life we choose to keep with us, or throw away.
Youth is not one of those things.
Youth is a gift that is given, for a period of time, and then it is gone forever. It is one of those states of being, that while we are here, we tend to waste it. But for those who realize it’s value, they don’t squander it.
Then there are those special kinds of people, who recognize that youth can be a state of mind, for it is not always just how we see ourselves in the mirror that reflects what and who we truly are.
But for most of us, Youth is something vicarious and fleeting.
Though I cannot choose to live with or without youth, I made the decision not to waste it. While I am here, in this moment, writing these notes, I am taking advantage of a gift I was given and have been able to utilize for over 20 years.
I’m following a dream I have always had, and to me that is the best way I can think of to make the most of my youth.
How are you spending yours?
So You Want To Change The World?
I was lying in my underwear suntanning in the backyard, and the idea fell over me like a ton of bricks. Not many things get me grinning so hard that I have to literally leap up and throw my clothes back on before I run upstairs, sit down on my bean bag chair, open up my laptop, and begin writing.
When you find that thing- that experience, that dream that has you so over the top excited that you can’t control your facial expressions or contain your level of excitement about the fact that you are invincibly committed to achieving that goal – never let it go.
And if you haven’t found it yet, it’s coming. Keep your eyes open, because there will be clues about what you truly seek, coming directly from your subconscious mind. It’s trying to find you.
What experiences and places give you Joy?
Where do you feel most at home ?
What vibes with your truth and desire?
I started taking mental notes about where I felt most productive and happy. It was truly a mix. I love waking up early with the sun, however I can also be a night owl and ponder the larger questions of the universe until 4am.
It wasn’t to become an Accountant, a Barista, or an Uber driver. Though those services are highly sought after, and they contribute to the community as a larger whole, they are not what you do best.
The thing you do best will be the thing that speaks to you on a whole new level. The thing that fuels your mind and gives you that insatiable energy. The thing that, dare I say it ?
(Which could absolutely be making coffees, driving folks around, or mastering the art of a calculator – but just make sure you’re not stuck in one of these jobs because of circumstance)
It is so important to hold on to our hobbies during our mid-adult years when we’re being swamped down by our jobs. Traditional “Work” (in the sense that it pays the bills and you may or may not hate being there) takes up way too much of our attention. And the things we love to do tend to take up hardly any.
Which is why I started writing again.
It’s what I love to do. And I am convinced I will make a career out of it one day. So for me, now that I’ve found my passion, I have to keep working at it until I am successful.
Sometimes, more than half the battle can be arriving at the place you want to start back at square one for.
Have You Ever Felt Misguided in Life?
Endlessly Searching For a Larger Purpose ?
How about question how to contribute to a greater cause than yourself ?
All of History’s greatest spiritual leaders have said the same thing in many different dialects and languages…
Do service for others.
Discover ways to help thy fellow neighbor.
And many of these teachings say those good deeds, or acts of service will come back to us in many different forms.
Many people go through life doing service for others because it brings them joy.
Others give back for the recognition, the pat on the back.
And then some don’t give back to anyone, while only looking where they can take.
We all inhabit this beautiful green Earth, and it is every single one of our responsibilities to look out for each other, to provide service and time where and when we can.
Experiences are meant to be shared, enjoyed, relished.
We are here to serve, in whatever form that manifests for each of us.
I am on a mission to break the status quo of fear and apathy and to polish the new wheel of Humanity in many ways – Acts of Kindness, Compassion.
Learn – Teach – Love
Give Your Gifts Back To The World !
Otherwise, what is the damn point people ?
Other than moving around 3 different times to 3 different states, my biggest accomplishment of 2017 was breaking through my boundary of self-doubt.
I used to be one of those people who victimized myself. Made every single thing that happened in my life the result of somebody else’s actions.
There’s a saying that I like…
Every time you point your finger outwards, always remember that there are three more pointing back at you.
(I had to actually shape my fist into a pointed finger to see what the heck this person was talking about)
And sure enough, I saw it. The three fingers that would forever keep me a hostage to my own life.
That was the root of my self-doubt. The ability to always have an excuse.
It was easier that way. I didn’t have to do anything. I could just sit back, let life happen to me, and always have an explanation for why it was so.
Well – In 2017, that changed.
I started taking accountability for my actions. All of them. Every single one.
I came to terms with my decisions. And I loved every single one.
My decision to leave my career.
My decision to venture into the digital realm in the hopes for a better life for myself.
My decision, to stop letting others decide for me, what was “right”.
Everything I needed – I found, I had within me.
Courage, Ambition, Determination, Eagerness, a heart fueled by fire and desire.
Passion will always win over Fear when you have trained your mind to believe in yourself.
I had the passion that changed me. I was no longer stuck in my bubble of self-doubt.
I bulldozed over that feeling and ventured into a land of self-discovery and renewal.
I began tapping into the resources – all the beautiful resources that this life has to offer- and realized an infinite truth: Abundance.
Abundance is everywhere.
As Newton’s conservation of energy law states: Abundance (energy) is neither created nor destroyed – It flows from one form to the next.
Similarly, the human spirit flows naturally (when you let it) through obstacles, glides through space, hits rocky mountainside patches, and then slips right through the cracks of the rock until its gushing like a waterfall, flowing ever so freely through the gorge.
I wanted to see myself riding out the waves at the bottom of that waterfall.
It was as simple as making a decision to start over.
2017 was the year my life took a drastic turn upwards. I was no longer a victim, but the creator of my life.
And for that realization, I am forever grateful.
I could seriously write an entire book on the lessons I learned from my High School U.S. History teacher (except for what I learned in his History class, as evidenced by the fact that I received a 2 out of 5 on the college entrance exam).
But that’s the whole point of this message. It was never about the 4 walls of that history classroom.
I didn’t learn how to memorize all the presidents, and all the generals of every war ever fought on U.S. soil. I also didn’t learn how to recite the preamble.
But what I did learn, was fundamental principles of being a Kind, Altruistic person, and how to express my Love and Gratitude for everything and everyone in my life.
As students, we all needed to have full liberal arts schedules, as well as 2 electives per semester. It was a way for us to diversify our learning experience, and tap into some of our creative juices by studying things like music theory, cinema, or art.
You see, my high school history teacher, he wasn’t just the guy who prepared us for our college exams. He was so much more.
He came up with an idea for a new class, outside of those general elective topics, which became a brand new elective choice my last year there. He called us the “love class guinea pigs”.
He decided to take on the role of teaching a class that would engage his students in some real world stuff. Now what do I mean by that?
Pursuing passions and dreams. Day-to-Day interactions. Soul searching. Living by the Golden Rule.
He named his class, “History, Ethics and Philosophy of Altruism & Love “
Everything is in the title. He was still a History teacher at heart, and I remember learning about the four different kinds of Love according to the ancient Greeks – Eros, Agape, Philia, and Storge.
History never escaped the classroom.
We studied what “Love” meant across all different cultures: Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Judaism, etc.
(Surprisingly enough, it seems the whole world actually could unify itself around this one concept, because it’s one we all agree on. But instead we let politics and war separate us).
We had homework assignments that included things like “Write out your perfect 24 hour day” and the following night’s assignment was to go out and live that day to the best of our ability.
We later reflected on the experience and how to make more time for the things we love.
We also created gratitude journals, autobiographical “mix-tape” CD’s, and a “best love songs of all time” compilation CD for all of us to take home at the end of the year. Silly, but so fun !
Our semester-long project was to build “Random Acts of Kindness” boxes and distribute them across the school. He filmed each of us reciting one small line of a larger, collective mission statement that we created, and he broadcast it on the morning announcements to the school.
Our goal for the 3 short months was to reach 100,000 random acts of kindness (RAK’s) school-wide.
We would leave cut up slips of construction paper, large enough to write on, beside the boxes with pencils so people could write down every act of kindness they saw and drop it in the box.
At the end of the semester, we counted every single slip with words written on it, and stapled them together into one long chain link of RAK’s. We hung up the chains in the classroom, and what didn’t fit, we covered the outside hallways with.
For the rest of the year, the chain link was a constant visual reminder that kindness exists everywhere, when we choose to see it.
Many of our assignments focused on Intrinsic principles such as Happiness and Goal-setting.
I still have my notebook to this day, and I often review what I wrote 10 years ago.
I even saved the bright pink, stapled packet of homework assignments we had throughout the class.
He had us write.. a lot. About our fears, our dreams, our strengths, our weaknesses.
We got real and we got in touch with ourselves and our classmates. Never had I ever had a teacher push me to my boundaries of self-discovery like he did.
What a ride that class was. I will never forget it. It has literally shaped me and my actions into the person I am today. I owe the foundation of many of my virtues and morals to that class. The rest is history.
Oh, how could I forget ? Our writing prompt for our U.S. History Final Exam:
…“What Is Love ?”
One of my proudest accomplishments to this day is that I received an “A+” on that assignment 
(I quickly forgot about my ” 2 ” on my AP History test)
P.S. I still keep my “Love Class ‘09 “ t-shirt in my bottom drawer.
Happy Habits 